Sunday January 4, 2004

Today wasn't so bad. I woke up  at like 11:30 or so. I went to bed at like 1 I didn't talk to David before i went to bed.
I had practice form 2-6 today, they made tumbaling manditory, it was alright. I hurt my elbow again but no biggie. no pain no gain.

That's all I want to say right now. I'm out

Kiss Hugs
Lisa

Well today was fun...
I woke up at 7 (not complaining) to go to dayton for David's wrestaling meet
It was a good day i believe over all...We missed his first match and then saw all the other ones. He won 2 out of 5 I believe, thats still really good i was really happy for him he did really good, the last match against teys vally tho was really bad...I hope his eye is alright. he got like punched or elbowed or something in the eye and it was like almost swollen shut...I was scared. He like powered this guy tho after that, it was funny i was like laughing my ass off... even tho the guy behing me did say that they needed to controle him becuase he was being unsportsman like, I was thinking god damnit he just like got hit in the face, what do you expect. I haven't seen him that rowed up in a while....I was awesome.

After the match I went home and got dressed for the basketball game.... we lost again....but its alright. I don't even member what the score was... Then I drove Ally, Kari, and MacKenzie to Damons we had fun. like 5 min after we got there Mcnulty, Jace, Mentzer, Tay and May and JD came. No sooner had McNulty asked about Lauren (her dad said she couldn't go) She showed up.....YAY!! They tryed to get us to pay for them too...but we wouldn't so they left. Then we were there for a while...then we left and went to Meijers and i was looking for some makeup...when we saw them and then we walked around talking to them for a few....we didnt find what we were looking for but they started fucking around so we didnt want to get introuble so we left.... I took Kari home, and then Ally I was going to stay at Ally's for a while but mom wanted me home.

I get home and I guess that bling blawow kid is trying to get involved again bc Kt Schingledecker starts talking to me about him trying to talk to her but she ignored him, so we got to talkin about her and her ex bf...Jared Best..... then her new one, some kid who goes to Jhonathin Adler....she's alright i guess...she said me and david were cute... :'( too bad monday is  only a day away....I regret even like thinking about it now... but i think i might be able to do it....I don't want to but i hope it will help..... MARIAH CAREY is my idle!! BREAKDOWN is such a good song!


David is at Ryans house... I tryed to call his cell but i think Ryan answered....idk.... I wanted to talk to him.. Iwanted to stop by and see him tonite...but i guess not. I love him. that breakdown song...makes me think of what were about to do. the choris expecially....
*-* Well, I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant  About it and I'm going the extremes to prove I'm fine without you  But in reality I'm slowly loosing my my mind Underneath the guise of a smile gradually I'm dying inside Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly 'Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry *-*

Cause Im going to compose myself durring the day...I refuse to let him see me cry..... to let him see how hard im paying for my own decision....for the love that I've got for him...I hope he wont like move on from me with this....I know its going to be hard on him too but were both going to go through with it....I LOVE DAVID EDWARD GOODRICH

signing off for the night....Love you..

Huggs and Kisses
Lisa

well now this makes it ALL WORSE...He got his computer fixed.... :'(

 These next cupple of weeks are going tobe hell... I can't believe I'm acctaully going through with this. I love the boy and im willing to try it. I just want things better. I'm tired of how things are with us. I love it when im with him i feel completebut i can't stand it when we fight and im like to the point i just want to say fuck it all....but not like that....like pretend nothing he does ever bothers me. Thats what im about to have to do....

The Plan

The next copple of weeks, or how ever long it takes, I'm not talking to david. Not calling him no nothing. I only can see him at school.

My Fears

I have a feeling that it;s not going to work, And im going to get pushed out of his life. well i don't have a feeling its going to happen thats what im afraid is going to happen.  Im afraid I'm going to lose him all together. I would hate that. Im afraid he's going to talk to kt and megan all the time and end up liking one of them. Kt is now single, and Megan kind of likes him. I'm so scared


i don't want to do this anymore!!
I love daivd so much, im willing to do what it takes. I need to get myself emotionally stable. I need to "controll my emotions" a.k.a no crying! Im going to try...

Love and Kisses
Lisa.

Just kidding...last night....***'s not the one for  **** yeah...sorry hana.Was there two ***'s?? Today was good tho....

Before School: I got there and talked to ally about ***** wow that was inturestingly cute, hehe. Then yeah normal rutien
MATH: I have homework so yeah i have to go back and get that book too...Mrs. gruze was a bigger bitch than normal.
SPANISH: we had a test... it was alright..not to hard i dont think i totaly bombed. Jd kept telling me he didn't like girls, expecially lisa... so i know for sure that he is a flaming homosexual.
CELL BIOLOGY: Ally's good day was still good... we "did" this worksheet...well we looked at stupid pictures and got this period long lecture pretty much about how disrespectful we are to her.
LUNCH: Wasn't as funny as some of the ones last week. Erika wasn't there so i went and sat with Kelley and David and Ross...to keep kelley company(me and Erkia are okay now..for those of you who dont know that)
ENVIORMENTAL BIOLOGY: Our Flat wormis zipping its self back up..ugh i need the extra credit for the doubble head thing.... but yeah ohh well...
ENGLISH: I had to sit there and listen to ally and Jace fight ugh..while playing "guess the font size" with Derwood, Andy Fisher, and Jace. Yeah..mean  while i was telling  Ally MacenZie about my restent....Louie broke up with Kayla...SCORE for someone *not me by the way*
HISTORY: I worked on the review thing...it's alright have to get my history book too just to finish it! 4 more days of school till break my god i can't wait...I'll be able to do w/e I want...TG!
AFTER SCHOOL: I stayed around to talk a little bit...then went home..passed some people "HE" smiled at my SYD! lmao it was fillarious! B-O-N-E-A-B-L-E...wow. lol
Writing this...I'm gonna do my chores in a few...then run up to school to get my 2 books that i need...Math and History..

LOVE ALWAYS
Lisa

Hey Guys!!
It's been along time since i've written a Journal!
I'm a tad bored at the moment. I'm soo incredibly tired too. I had practice today...
andd..... It started at 2 but Isaiah was late...so it didn't start till about 2:30..then like no one was there bc everone was gone or sick...so yeah we got out at 4:30. It was cool... I really don't want to do Mr.grannis' little project thing. But i know i have to. I haven't seen like anyone this weekend. I had a competition on saturday... we didn't know we were competinog against anyone but we had another team and we beat em. Wendsday at practice this one girl like didnt even atempt to catch her "flyer" (person in the air) and she like ducked and let her go over her head..so Isaiah kicked her off...then her friend tryed to cover for her (ashleigh) and so she was like lying about something i guess and he told her to leave as well...so tahts 2 people we're missing...then the other Ashley went to kentuckey with her fam. to see her dieing grandma..so thats 3 then the flyer that fell she got hurt and coouldnt compete..so we were down 4 people on sat. and yeah it was just a fucking MESS!

Yeah cheerleading talk is done.

I'm going to try and look cute all week!! lol...

on love and stuff in my life...I'm soo confused... I still love *****... I like him soo much...but I thought i didn't like **** anymore but last week.. I think i started feeling like i did...idk im gonna see how this week goes with him. Derrick told me somethings about *** lol... I hear he's a  BAD kid...but idk... Hana went out with him and it just clicked to me who he was like 2 days ago he's the *** ohh my thats weird... lol I was like cracking up laughing bc im the one who encouraged her to break up with him for **** in the 1st place!! wow!!

Alright well its like 8:35 and im soo tired so yeah I'm gonna take a shower and maybe do some talkin on the phone...but then im going to bed!! night night sweet dreams everyone!